Wednesday, 2 February 2011

The Greatest Crossover Ever? No


My name is Valhallahan and I’m a sucker for hype. It’s a curse many geeks share, and in some cases it leads to disappointment. This is one of those cases.

I suppose this issue did all that was needed of it, in that it set up the premise for the crossover, ready for it to sprawl out into the various mini series it encompasses, but the comic itself is pretty bad. I can’t fault the art particularly, as it is accomplished stuff and looks rather nice when the writers give them something decent to draw, but the dialogue is bloody ridiculous and the plot progression is incomprehensible. This second problem stems from the fact that this issue, although titled "Infestation #1" is actually Zombies versus CVO: Covert Vampiric Operations. For those who don’t know, let me fill you in on CVO from what I gleaned from this issue of Infestation and the two issues of CVO I once got in a grab-bag: It’s a big load of shite. More specifically, it is the story of a group of covert soldiers who happen to be -wait for it- Vampires! Yeah! Woo! Awesome! No. The team consists of two interchangeable broody tough guy types and Lady Death. Oh sorry, that’s not Lady Death, that’s the third member of the CVO team, she’s a vampire commando that used to be a supermodel! How cool is that? Not very? Oh well, I’ll continue. Interestingly, she is quite curvy and buxom for a supermodel, methinks she’s been padding out her CV. Just because the place has a stage and people are watching you, it doesn’t make it a catwalk. So the 'Glamour' model and the two angry dudes seem to work for a bunch of ghouls in suits and... you know what? I can’t be bothered.
A Pony and Trap
But what did I expect? This is, after all the set up for a story which is essentially of the kind we all used to play with our toys when we were kids. "Then Captain Kirk beams down to the planet and there’s a zombie and then the zombie bites him and then Ghostbusters shoots the zombie and then more zombies come but Snake Eyes cuts their heads off but Megatron comes down and shoots Snake Eyes because he is a zombie too and then the Enterprise crashes because Dad stepped on it by accident but it transforms into Optimus Prime and then they fight and then Leonardo Kills Mum-Ra who looks a bit like a zombie and then Happy Meal transforming Big Mac shoots Grizzlor and then John was a zombie" and in that way, I’m still hopeful for the series.
Artist's Impression of writing process
It seems that this issue has very little bearing on what will proceed it. In fact the other titles aren’t really crossing over at all, it’s more like Grant Morrison’s Seven Soldiers where all the characters face a common foe, unbeknownst to them, with Infestation serving as the book ends which tie the stories together. In fact, the types of zombie don’t even appear to be consistent judging from the previews, with Transformers opting for a Blackest Night style evil dead, while Star Trek goes the more neoclassical route. As it stands the shiteyness of this initial part, is not going to stop me from trying the others, they are all previewed in the back of this book and have completely different, franchise-appropriate creative teams, and I must say though not a fan of his super-hero work, I look forward to seeing Kyle Holtz’s Ghostbusters art.
This was disappointing start, but not a deal-breaker. I’ll be trying out the Infestation minis but skipping the next instalment of this extended CVO advert.

Survival and Land out of a possible Dawn.