Swap Shop Massacre: D&D WITH A&V

Dungeons & Dragons #0
Written by John Rogers/Alex Irvine
Art by Andrea Di Vito/Peter Bergting

Action Ash
I thought for this months swap shop, knowing Valhallahan's hate for the fantasy genre, it would be funny to nominate issue #0 of the Dungeons & Dragons comic.

Well the joke was on me!

I used to play a bit of D&D in my early teens and I always thought it might be fun to try it again some time. I always had fun fighting orcs by rolling die, completing quests and finding treasure. As I got older I forgot about it and even stopped playing RPG's on consoles and computers. In present day I find I don't have the patience to get into World of Wankcraft, and have only just played Neverwinter Nights, god knows how many years after it's release (Also, I know I wont complete it). So when I heard about a D&D comic I thought it was a great idea, and that maybe it would rekindle my interest in playing RPG's again...

Well now I just don't want to.

The D&D comic was probably the most average thing I've read in my life! The story was meh, the characters were meh and the art was (insert expression of apathy, indifference or boredom).

I can't slag it off totally though, because I thought they did a good job of introducing the different character types in a short space but I didn't really care about them. The best thing about it was that the dialogue and characters reminded me of a Saturday morning cartoon show, but I would much rather watch the actual Dungeons & Dragons Saturday morning cartoon show from the 80's, than read another issue of this.

2d6 wrinkly little goblins with rusty daggers out of a possible 5d20 marauding Orc bandits with +2 flaming swords.

Valhallahan
My name is Liam and I am a geek. Not a just a bit of a geek, a big old geeky geek. I’m writing a comic book blog for Drokk’s sake. See? I said Drokk! Anyway despite my geeky geekdom there's one rung of geekery ladder that I've never ascended/descended to: ROLE PLAY! To me it's all wizard and fairy shit. Now, it's not that I'm against Fantasy per se, but it's not my favourite genre. I grew up reading Conan and I've read the Lord of the Rings trilogy more than once, but, and I know this is a stretch for a superhero fan, I find the whole arena faintly ridiculous. There, I said it. It's my problem, not theirs'. Now with this in mind here's what I thought of Dungeons and Dragons #0, as a complete D&D virgin (not the usual context in which D&D and virgin are used in the same sentence - sorry, couldn't resist).

Like I what I bitched about Avengers Prime for, I read both stories in the space of cigarette (inc. lighting time) which is fine for an #0, but future issues better have more substance. You do get quite a chunk of extras too, which although I wasn't into it enough to read, I'm sure they’re good if you like that sort of thing. In this book, we’re given two tales from the D&D Universe, with very different tones. Of the two stories presented, I preferred the second, probably because had more of a Gladiator/Conan vibe, but preferring it to the other doesn’t mean I was all that keen, it seemed like the set up for a neutered, bloodless version of something we've seen a million times before.

It's a good #0; it's noob-friendly and provides a variety of content to get your teeth into, but it's just not a particularly good comic. The art is ho-hum, I was expecting some Bisley-esque awesomery, but it was a bit limp. As I said before though, I'm biased against all that wizard shit, so what do I know?

Two Wizard's Sleeves out of a possible Gandalf.

Swap Shop Massacre: Hellblazer and 7 Psychopaths

7 Psychopaths #1 of 3
Written by Fabien Vehlmann
Art by Sean Phillips

Action Ash
First up on this months swap shop is my nomination, the BOOM! Studios offering from Fabien Vehlmann (who?). Apparently Monsieur Vehlmann is better known in the French comics community, however I'm glad he decided to work with BOOM! and Sean Phillips to create this bizarre WWII adventure. I definitely thought this would be up Valhallahan's alley, and so thought it would be a good choice for the massacre.

Valhallahan
Right up my alley. I loved it!

Action Ash
I like being right! The plot is basically about a, laughed at and bullied, Colonel and an escaped mental patient recruiting a rag tag team of people with mental problems (7 to be exact) to carry out an assassination on the Fuhrer himself. The idea being that only someone that was majorly head fucked would try such a thing. It had me interested the moment I heard about it, and it did not disappoint. It was well written with occasional witty dialogue and I did not mind the fact that it was quite wordy in places, although I can see how this would put some people off.

Valhallahan
"It 'as got some talking" eh Ash? I loved it. Perfectly mental proposition setting up for either a depressingly hilarious Catch 22-esque commentary on war, or a rip-roaring Dirty Dozen-esque Boy's Own adventure. Either way I'm sold for the duration. It's sort of like Inglourious Basterds, but if that film had been about Inglourious Basterds instead of German cineastes.

Action Ash
Sean Phillips strikes again with his shadow soaked visuals, two particular high points being his renditions of wartime London and the huge panel depicting one characters prediction of Hitlers reign of terror.

Valhallahan
He does do a lahverly job don'e? The finer line work here reminded me more of his earlier Vertigo books, than his looser style on Criminal/Incognito. He seems to have about three distinct styles that he uses and you can’t fault him on any. He gets all the comedy, all the drama, all the necessary ‘acting’ and it looks great. Bastard.

3 and a half Spitfires piloted by the criminally insane out of 5 - AA

Four tinfoil hats out of five - VH

Hellblazer #267
Sectioned: part one
Written by Peter Milligan
Art by Giuseppe Camuncoli

Valhallahan
Okeydokey, my pick was the latest issue of Hellblazer. I picked it because Ash has been meaning to try Hellblazer but wanted to try a “classic” story. I hadn't read Hellblazer regularly for years, but when I heard Peter Milligan had started writing it, I knew I had to give it a look. I wasn’t disappointed. The only surprising thing is that he’s never done it before. You want Classic Hellblazer Ash? Well Have at Thee!

'Sectioned' is the start of a new storyline, and it looks like it’s going to be a doozy, it starts off with a row between John and new his sort-of missus which seems to end very nastily indeed, but like John, we aren’t entirely sure what happened. We do know that he seems to have fucked up big time. John’s in the shit; his world is literally crumbling around him, his friends are feeling the brunt of it, and he may need some help from someone a bit more in the know than even John himself. So yeah, it’s classic Hellblazer

Action Ash
Believe it or not I've never read Hellblazer until I read this issue. I'm not sure why but it never presented itself to me as something I would enjoy but was always on the periphery of my comic book interests.

Well I'm glad I have finally got round to reading some of it because I Loved it. The britishness is my favourite thing about it. I like the bleak way in which british comic writers tell a story. Also I'm into horror as a genre and demonology so all the demonic and dark magic elements helps get me off too.

Camuncoli's art was very different to the aesthetics I'd associated with Hellblazer, so at first I was disappointed. However it grew on me and I now think he was a perfect artist for this kind of story and I look forward to seeing some of his other work.

Valhallahan
It took a while for me to warm to as well. I thought he was far too 'cartoony' when I picked up the first issue of Scab, but he totally won me over with the India storyline, which I heartily recommend. I can't wait to see what he does with Shade: The Changing Man next issue, it's an artist's dream. I do wonder what the series other artist, Simon Bisley -who's recent style style is face-meltingly fantastic - would do with the opportunity though.

Action Ash
From now on I will follow this series, or at least pick up the odd issue and two or three part storyline.

Four shit-smeared padded cells out of five - VH

4 copies of the lesser key of solomon out of 5 - AA

Swap shop Massacre! The story of Shunka.

Scalped #36
A Fine Action of an Honorable and Catholic Spaniard
Written by Jason Aaron
Art by Davide Furno
Cover by Jock


Action Ash
In return for me nominating Valhallahan to read Flash #1, he chose an issue of Scalped for me. Here goes.
I liked it!
I've never read any Scalped before, but this makes me want to check it out. The story in this issue is a great crime/gangsta yarn of a bad ass native American with a secret that he really doesn't want getting out. I'm not gonna say what it is, for not wanting to ruin the story's surprise element, but I think the theme is handled well and without use of offensive stereotype. It felt more like reading a good tv crime drama as opposed to a comic book.

The art was stereotypical of the crime comic style but very good. I'm not a massive fan of this style but when it's done well I like it alot and this was one of those cases.

I'll definitely pick up the next issue

Four blood stained Tomahawks out of Five!

Valhallahan
*scroll for spoilers*
I must admit, when it comes to reviewing Scalped, I’m coming from a completely biased standpoint, which is why I picked the latest issue for this week’s Swapshop Massacre. I’ve been a fan since the beginning of this series and look forward to my slice of Scalped misery and excitement every month, I think there was a happy moment in there somewhere but I can’t be sure. Numpty that he is, Action Ash has never read Scalped and my aim was indeed to school him. School him good.

This issue focuses on Shunka, one of Red Crow’s thugs who’s been in the background up till now, and takes him out of the Rez on business where he gets stuck in with a bit of sex and violence. What makes this story stand out a bit more is that the sex is between two chaps. This issue makes some startling points about the extreme difficulties faced by gay men in the Native American community, but don’t be thinking this is a “very special episode” of Scalped. This is hardboiled, hard-hitting drama, and sets the story up for some righteous vengeance to come. Having said that, this is Scalped, and absolutely anything can happen. It’s edge of the seat stuff.

Four and a half blood soaked bed sheets out of five.

Swap Shop MASSACRE!

Swap Shop Massacre! Two reviews for the price of one! In this feature we nominate each other a comic to read and review. The idea of this is to read something we wouldn't necessarily buy and give you lucky people our irredeemable opinions on them.
Let the Massacre begin!

The Flash #1

The Dastardly Death of the Rogues

Geoff Johns and Francis Manapul

Action Ash
My first thoughts on this comic (after the erection had died down a bit) were "This is really nice!". The artwork of Francis Manapul is unique yet it echoes the same playful charm that Scott Kolins brought to the Flash on his run of the series. Central city is a hectic place to live and you really get a feel of that through the art, the detail of the backgrounds allowing you to see the citizens going about their daily lives in the hurried manner that they're used to. Also, and most importantly for a Flash comic I suppose, Manapul's depiction of speed is great. Using the old school technique of speed lines (and plenty of them) and a few after images of the Flash really gets the job done.

The story is fun and light hearted and begins with a cool little chase that is an awesome way to start off a series. It kept my attention and has a cliffhanger that makes me more than curious about the next issue.

The only thing I want to know is, what about Wally West? Personally, I think Wally is the best Flash. He's more interesting than the goody two shoes Barry Allen and I started reading Flash comics because of him. Now Mr Allen is back from the dead, are they just gonna sideline West and hope suckers forget him? They better not *shakes fist*

All in all 5 skid marks out of 5. Super Geil!

Valhallahan
Like Ash, "My Flash" is Wally West, having been introduced to the character through the DC animated universe and through comic books that were written when I was actually alive. Unlike Ash, I’ve not really been following the Wally West’s adventures aside from the odd cameo in things that are actually good. So did this bold new/tired old direction win me over?

I didn’t like the book quite as much as my esteemed co-reviewer, for a start, my jeans remained un-tented, but I didn’t hate it. I do totally agree about the art, it has a real energy, particularly the kinetic opening chase which is masterfully conveyed. The story left me a bit cold though, it was a nice breeze through the new status quo of the old/new/old Mr Flash-Man, but I don’t really care that much, and you can’t make me, Johns!

Three (rusty) skid marks out of five